The Gourmand Gull

How many snooty food critics do you come across that refuse to review nothing less than five star establishments? Why should their erudition and wit be reserved for the chef hats, Michelin stars and silver services of the food world? It’s time to bring a touch of discernment and culture to the places where the common people gather and eat. If MasterChef brought fine food to the people, then The Gourmand Gull will bring fine food criticism to the masses!

Seagulls, as every Australian beachgoer and fish-n-chip connoisseur will testify, will nary turn their beaks up at any and all victuals, and it is in this spirit that the following pieces will be written, as we cast our critical gaze over local eateries, fast food ‘family restaurants’, street-side vendors, crappy cafés and all manner of popular eating establishments inbetween. In our travels, we will encounter and appraise such cuisine as home-cookery, service station snacks, ready-to-eat meals and so many etceteras. Indeed, no outlet or foodstuff is safe from the swoop of this gull!

Remember, though, this particular avian has a sense of the good life, fine dining and true food appreciation, so no ink will be spared, effortlessly cogent witticisms withdrawn, punches pulled or eloquence withheld when it comes to critiquing the service, dining and decor of such purveyors of common cuisine.

In the immortal words of Matt Preston, that articulate, sexy and passionate cravat-sporting Dionysian to whom this journal is dedicated, “This isn’t wind, this is dragon’s breath!”

Enter the dragon.


(Dave Franzese)